There are still many prejudices around asexuality. People who are asexual are often called "unable to have a relationship" and "not normal" by many who don't know any better. Statements like these are not only wrong, but also very hurtful. '
It is a classic misconception of many people that "everyone should feel like having sex pretty much all the time". At the same time, not everyone who feels no desire over a period of several days is also asexual at the same time.
Therefore, it is even more important to delve a little deeper into the topic in order to understand this group of people who belong to the LGBTQIA+ community... and perhaps to be able to better assess one's own behavior and feelings.
What does asexual mean?
Asexual people are not attracted to others. They have no desire for sex and/ or caresses, but at the same time they do not feel that they are missing anything. However, there are no classic, fixed standards around asexuality. This means that even a person who has no desire for sex for several months, but then has erotic needs again, can be considered asexual.
Many affected persons report that their desire changes and that phases of "absolute listlessness" are often followed by phases in which they feel a corresponding need for closeness. At the same time, there are asexual people who are quite happy to satisfy themselves.
In short, asexuality can be divided into many different nuances and does not necessarily last a lifetime. Many asexuals also report that it takes "certain circumstances" to ignite their passion.
Do asexual people have sex?
Many asexual people understand that their partner wants to have sex. It would be wrong to claim that a person who feels 100 percent asexual would simply never have sex.
Quite a few sleep with their partner because they want to give him/her what he/she expects. Provided that both agree with this fact, there is of course nothing to object to.
Nevertheless, it is a special challenge for many to be together with an asexual person. For many, the feeling of "he/she has no desire for me!
However, if both are aware of asexuality and focus on communication and understanding, it is of course possible to have a fulfilling relationship even under these circumstances.
Where can asexual people and their partners find help?
Asexuality can be a great burden for those involved. Especially when it is not yet possible for those affected to classify their own feelings. In the process of self-discovery or self-identification as an asexual, it is possible to seek help. One of the first contacts in this context is the family doctor. He usually refers to a psychologist.
On the basis of talk therapy, it is often already possible to work out that it is possible to accept oneself. Many treatments of this kind are also offered as couple therapy.
Talking to experts can help assess whether it is actual asexuality or just a phase. The boundaries can often appear fluid.
Addendum: If no desire for sex can be mustered over a longer period of time, this can also be due to a high stress level or have physical causes. Therefore, it is helpful to get to the bottom of the cause in any case.
Sounds very lonely but if you are really happy why not.