When we talk about "conform" or "gender conform", we mean that the social expectations placed on a gender are fulfilled. Or, in other words, a person behaves - based on his or her gender - in the way society expects of him or her.
The opposite of conforming is non-conforming.
When do men or women conform to their gender?
If you want to define the term conforming in more detail, the first step is to look at traditional role and gender images. A typical example of gender conforming for girls is pink clothing, long hair and braids.
However, being gender conformant does not just mean dressing "like a girl" or "like a boy. Rather, these terms are also associated with certain expectations when it comes to appearing "particularly masculine" or "particularly feminine".
For many people, gender conformity means that men have to be particularly strong and courageous, while women are allowed to be weak and needy from time to time.
In this context, it is also particularly exciting to observe that the ideal conception of "conforming" has changed greatly over time. Especially during the time when many women fought for equal rights, it became apparent that the boundaries here can certainly become blurred.
Ultimately, it also depends on a person's personal taste and individual attitude what is considered gender conforming and what is not.
Conform and queers - a sensitive topic
Many queer people today have to deal with prejudice around who they are - often because people with traditional role models have a lot of View members of the queer scene as nonconforming.
Of course, prejudices play a particularly large role here as well. Gay men are often described by critics as "too feminine" and women who are characterized by a rather masculine appearance are also sometimes contemptuously referred to as "fighting lesbians". This is a particularly hurtful and discriminatory way of dealing with norms that apply within traditional society.
Many are all the more surprised when it turns out that the attractive male neighbor with the beard and torn jeans is actually gay.
Gender conformity in society
The demand on oneself and on other members of society to live gender conformably can be very stressful. Those who put their own identity on the back burner and try to conform to the prevailing "guidelines" of society often exert a lot of pressure on themselves.
People's individuality is pushed into the background, and the desire to avoid clashing as much as possible becomes a real test.
But: At hardly any other time was it possible to break down gender-conforming norms as intensively as today. Nevertheless, this requires a lot of courage and the desire to stand by oneself 100 percent.
Why do so many people have a problem with non-conformity?
If you talk to others about topics like "conforming" or "nonconforming," you often hear phrases like "In the old days, that wouldn't have happened!" But is that really true? Actually, no. At just about every time, there have always been people and groups who have been offended because of the way they dress or behave.
In addition, the question "What is compliant and what is not?" is always to a certain extent a snapshot. What is not compliant today may be the rule in ten years.
Non-conformity is equated by many people with the new, the unknown and sometimes even the threatening. And that is precisely what frightens those who want to hold on to the traditional values that are so often cited.
Conformity or not, everyone as he or she likes it