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October 3, 2023 0 Comments

Attention couples vacation! These pitfalls lurk!

Couples' vacation: Many couples, largely regardless of how long they have been together, know the problem: Dark clouds gather on the second or third day of the joint vacation at the latest. However, this is not about the weather, but about the fact that numerous people, who get along quite harmoniously in everyday life at home, realize on vacation how opposite they are.

In the past, studies have even been conducted on how a vacation together can affect relationship life. Some of the results were astounding. After all, there are many couples who break up on vacation. But why? What causes the potential for conflict to be particularly high when all that's really needed is to relax?

The good news is that it is entirely possible to prevent this phenomenon, at least to a certain extent. Those who know what pitfalls lurk on couples' vacations may also feel strong enough to counter them.

Pitfall No. 1: Together in a confined space

What may sound romantic at first can turn into a real problem in the second moment. For example, couples who live at home in a large house with grounds and are now "forced" to be together in a hotel room may quickly feel restricted. Especially when there is a discussion here, some people feel they cannot leave the room.

As a result, they find it difficult to control their emotions and tend to argue more intensely than they would at home, for example.

As self-evident as it sounds, however, it is just as simple: A hotel room is not (!) a prison. Anyone who realizes that they need fresh air should also decide to take a break during the "most beautiful weeks of the year" in order to be able to discuss things much more objectively again afterwards, if necessary.

Attention couples vacation

Pitfall #2: "But everything HAS to be perfect on a couples' vacation!"

The demands that many couples place on a perfect couples' vacation are often high. No wonder that the disappointment is then often even greater when the expectations are not met.

That's why it's even more important to keep reminding yourself that no one is perfect, even on vacation, and that of course it's okay (and sometimes important) to argue during the vacations.

If you eat it all up over a period of several days, you only risk making a later argument far more intense than it should be.

Pitfall No. 3: Too much time together

A vacation makes couples spend significantly more time together than is often the case in everyday life. However, many are simply not used to getting up together with their partner, having breakfast and then planning the day together.

Ideally, everything will settle down on day 2 or 3,... but maybe it will take a little longer for both of you to come to terms with the new situation.

Here you need not only understanding, but also a little patience. Often it is the anger at not being able to fully appreciate the time together from the start that ensures that even minor disputes can quickly build up. Here, too, it's important to lower your own expectations (which may be too high in some cases?) and instead get involved in the new challenge.

Pitfall No. 4: Different ideas of the perfect vacation

This is also an important detail that should not be neglected in any case. Many people have particularly precise ideas about how the perfect vacation should look. However, these may differ from the expectations that the partner has?

On the basis of extensive planning, it is often possible to create the basis for a harmonious togetherness. It often becomes apparent during various preliminary discussions whether the expectations of both parties can be combined. In connection with a couple's vacation, however, the same rules apply that play an important role with regard to a harmonious relationship: It usually doesn't work without compromise.

Pitfall No. 5: Uncomfortable topics that come up all at once

The daily routine of many couples is comparatively standardized. They come home, tell each other about their day, and then at some point fall asleep watching TV. One "problem" that keeps cropping up in this context is that by the third or fourth day of the couples' vacation at the latest, many realize that the typical everyday topics eventually fall away.

After all, both of them no longer have any input from the outside and accordingly often have to focus on other issues. The probability that disputes can now arise is accordingly high.

Loosely based on the motto "What I've always wanted to tell you!" conversations can now become hurtful.

Conclusion

Even though many different studies often talk about "relationship killers" in connection with couples' vacations, this does not mean that every couple should get nervous when the most beautiful weeks of the year are coming up. At the same time, it would be wrong to try to patch up an unhappy relationship with a vacation. Those who keep reminding themselves that time together doesn't just have to be romantic, but can become a challenge every now and then, and at the same time don't set their expectations too high, often benefit from a special kind of togetherness that invites them to step out of their everyday lives together and remember what they have in each other.

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