Trans people: A change of perspective can help

Trans people: Many relatives react with shock when they learn that, for example, one of their family members is transgender. This is often due to the fact that this term is still fraught with many misunderstandings.

Therefore, it is necessary to look a little closer to possibly find out that, among other things, prejudices have ensured that a false image of transsexuality has arisen in the course of time.

Trans people who have managed to be at peace with themselves and stand by themselves can often prove to be an enormous support for their loved ones. Who could enlighten bystanders better than those who are transsexual? In this way, a completely new perspective often arises, on the basis of which it is possible to build.

An important insight: the "wrong body" does not exist

Admittedly: In the first step, it can certainly help to tell outsiders something about a person who was born "in the wrong body." With regard to this formulation, however, it is important to be careful. Because: "Wrong" always implies that there is something wrong with the respective trans person.

It is far simpler (and more unambiguous) to call a person "trans" when that person identifies as "trans. Further justifications are not really needed. If the own identification does not fit to the gender characteristics, one speaks of transsexuality.

It may also help many loved ones to know that it is Transsexuality is not a newfangled "trend". Since the beginning of mankind there have already been trans people. Parallel to this, however, there have always been times when it was simply life-threatening to come out as "trans".

Certainly, every trans person wants a positive relationship with their loved ones, but...

Unfortunately, a look at reality shows that many families apparently still have a problem in the 21st century when a member does not meet their "desired standards".

Even if it is difficult, those affected are well advised to try not to be too strict with their environment. If you think back and remember how confused you were when you realized you were trans, you may be able to put yourself in the shoes of those around you a little better.

In the first step it needs time, in the second step education. In this context, the trans people concerned should always keep in mind (also for their own sake) that although they stand up for themselves and thus also represent the community, they cannot fundamentally change a person.

If you notice that your family members still refuse to use the correct pronouns and/or use the dead name, for example, even after weeks, you should try to come to terms with this at some point. If this does not succeed, it is of course perfectly legitimate to seek professional help. Many psychologists now specialize in queer issues, among other things, and are available to offer advice and support.

Those who do not want to visit a psychologist also have the possibility to rely on various counseling centers. Many like-minded people meet on the Internet and at various regulars' tables (especially in larger cities). The message is pretty much always the same: You are not alone. Of course, the same is true for relatives. There are many organizations that have made it their business to help them, too, if they wish.

Time and patience often help

Even if it may sound a little too easy: Often it just takes a little time and patience until the tempers of all parties involved have calmed down again.

This is exactly what all parties involved should respect. In this context, outing others is an absolute no-go. It doesn't matter whether it's about coming out as gay, lesbian, bi or trans: The decision about when it is so far to open up to others, everyone should make for themselves. Even if a foreign outing may not be meant negatively at all, it is an absolute no-go.

Conclusion

Many Trans people report in retrospect that their outing was nowhere near as bad as they feared. Accordingly, those who worry too much and go through one sleepless night after another run the risk of wasting valuable life time. At the same time, of course, it would be wrong to assume that everyone will take an outing as a trans person positively.

Those who want to be optimally prepared for all eventualities should try to exchange information with like-minded people - for example via the Internet - and get professional help if necessary. The better prepared those who want to come out are and the more at peace they are with themselves, the greater the likelihood that their environment will also react positively (or at least neutrally). Being as self-confident as possible helps in many situations... especially when it comes to standing up for oneself.